Many out there may ask the question, “Why form relationships if they won’t last?” This sentiment is prevalent among those struggling with existentialism, and it may even be a sign of depression. But that’s not what we’re here to talk about; humans have spent millennia forming and depending on relationships for a means of survival. But what’s the point of allowing ourselves to possibly be hurt by relationships if they are no longer necessary to our survival?
I believe that relationships may not be crucial to our survival anymore, but in order for human beings to thrive, interpersonal relationships are a strong support in our lives. Take, for example, the teenage girl. Known for our social hierarchies, the life of a (common) teenage girl is dictated by her “habitat”, our surroundings, and how they affect each person form our relationships. That then forms the way each person interacts with our communities as a whole. Teenagers may be cruel or strange but our actions are products of the unwritten social contracts that take place in our everyday lives. However, teenagers seem to be some of the only people that will admit to this.
Most adults will believe that they have some sort of autonomy over their own actions. And to the greatest everyday extent, they do. But, everyone’s actions are influenced by things that they’ve experienced in their lives and they’ve made a decision (conscious or unconscious) to adopt or reject that behavior. So regardless of whether or not you subscribe to “common culture”, and adopt popular habits, everyone is heavily influenced by others in their lives. Be it family, friends, mentors, or anyone you encounter, everyone to some extent is made of parts of other people.
So what does this have to do with the sustainability of human relationships?
If every person in the world is made up of other people’s traits, it’s no wonder that relationships aren’t a guarantee, and that they come and go every day. This isn’t because some are “bad people” or because of any inherent character flaw, but people fade out of others’ lives for complex as well as simple reasons. Human relationships are inherently unsustainable and unpredictable because relationships with other people will never have as much longevity as a relationship with yourself.
Humans form relationships simply because they’re fun! And a relationship of any kind can bring someone at least a little bit of joy that they may not reach without someone else. Relationships with other people can and will (most likely be) collected like trinkets over a person’s lifetime; this isn’t something to be ashamed of, but rather something to be proud of. Love freely and proudly, and learn from each and every experience that helps form the person that you are.